I’m tired of thinking about Cancer

pink-ribbonWednesday I had a visit with “my” Oncologist. As you know, I have tried three different “Estrogen Blocking drugs” and with all three, I had serious side effects. Twice I wound up in the Hospital with chest pain. The other drug gave me such bad depression, I quit after one week.

I explained all this to the doctor.

She still insists I try another one.

She called the prescription into the drug store, er, pharmacy, but I have not chosen to pick it up yet. I have spent the last two days in a funk, oversleeping, eating ice cream and binge-watching Wayward Pines. After spending the last 5 months eating healthy, exercising and losing 25 pounds, I have been sent back into a spiral.

The thought of force-feeding myself another drug which will most likely send me into the hospital again has upset me. Although my doctor insists that “if the cancer comes back, it will not be in the breast this time, it will be the bones, or another organ” I just can’t force myself into chest pains again.

Someone has told me that Thyme Oil is a natural cancer preventive, so I am looking into how to buy that.

Meanwhile, please beam up some prayers for me. I know I am not handling this as well as I should.


1 Corinthians 2:9-12

9 But as it is written:

“Eye has not seen, nor ear heard,
Nor have entered into the heart of man
The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.”[c]
10 But God has revealed them to us through His Spirit. For the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God. 11 For what man knows the things of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him? Even so no one knows the things of God except the Spirit of God. 12 Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might know the things that have been freely given to us by God.

Dough-free Pizza

Pizza-1Yes, it’s yum-yum-yummy!

My son made this with cauliflower instead of wheat. Here’s the recipe:

1 head cauliflower, riced (blender)
1/2 cup shredded mozzarella
1/4 cup grated Parmesan
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
2 eggs, lightly beaten

Preheat oven to 400*F. use parchment
Rice cauliflower; boil for 5 min in inch of water. If boiling over, it’s done.
Strain with wired strainer then pat out every drop of water you can with towel.
Mix all ingredients together. Mix/blend well.
Bake 25 min. add sauce and cheese, bake another 10 or until cheese on top is bubbling.

It was really delicious.

The photo also shows some pepperoni on top. You can use anything of course, more veggies, more sauce, etc.


Everyone, come in and take your seat!


God has raised us up together,

and made us sit together

in the heavenly realm

in Christ Jesus.  – Ephesians 2:6

See yourself seated next to Jesus in the heavenly realm. From here, we have a different view of the world, our problems, and our families. We see the “big picture”. We are above our problems and see from God’s perspective.

Picture yourself looking down at your life from this angle. Do you see how much bigger God is than your problems from here?  Do you see a neighbor how needs a kind word or a smile from you? Do you see a child in poverty who needs a sponsor? (see my friend Terri’s blog for more details here )

Do you see a friend who needs prayer? Do you see someone who needs to hear about Jesus, what He has done for us, and how they can be Born Again?

Why did God raise us up with Christ?

[The purpose is] that through the church, the complicated, many-sided wisdom of God in all its infinite variety and innumerable aspects might now be made known to the angelic rulers and authorities (principalities and powers) in the heavenly sphere.  –Ephesians 3:10

God has raised us up so that we can let the demons know the wisdom of God!! We have power over them in Jesus’ name because of the victory of the cross of Christ.

But before you sit down, make sure you are dressed.

Put on the full armor of God that you may be able to resist and stand your ground in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.  – Ephesians 6:13

Since we have on God’s armor and are in the heavenly realm with Christ Jesus, and the powers and principalities are in the heavenly realm also, we can fight them eye to eye–they are not so big and powerful over us. In fact, they are supposed to be under our feet.

Behold, I give you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy. –Luke 10:19

From up here, seated with Christ, we can also see the End. We can see how close we are to the End. We can see those who don’t yet know Christ.

I confess, part of me is trying to hold onto the world the way it is; part of me does not want to see it all go away. (My flesh) Part of me is afraid. Life as we know it is passing away. When I go to bed at night I am thankful for one more night in my nice bed, and think how many more nights like this will I have? And I pray for my brothers and sisters who do not have a nice bed, who are suffering for the gospel in prison.

Yet part of me is looking forward to the new world–when all this mess is gone, and we are in the next world.

Do not fret or have anxiety about anything but in every circumstance and in everything by prayer and petition (definite requests) with thanksgiving, continue to make your requests known to God, and God’s peace which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. — Philippians 4:6-7

We are to take our seats in the heavenly realm with Christ. How else can we be seen as lights?

We are seen as bright lights — stars or beacons — shining out clearly in the dark world.  — Philippians 2:15b

Where are your feet?


“If you have negative behaviors in your life, then willpower is not the answer. God power is! You have it – you just need to grow it.

Actually, the fruit of self-control will grow as you follow the Holy Spirit’s leading. Ask for His wisdom to show you what is lame in your life. And then, ask Him what you can do to create a straight path for your feet.

When you do that, what is lame will be healed!
Ephesians 3:20 – “Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us…””

–Kimberly Taylor

When God uses humiliation to humble us, and other thoughts


Think of Moses, being told to go to Pharaoh to tell him, “Let my people go!” Moses immediately tries to avoid this task.

“But Lord, I am slow of speech.”

“I’m not good at public speaking.”

“Can’t you send someone else?”

What other things do we tell God when He tells us to do a task that we would rather not do?

“What if they don’t listen to me?”

“Why me?”

“But they will laugh at me and hurt my feelings.”

“They don’t believe you talk to me.”

“They don’t believe I can hear you.”

“I’ve got nothing to wear…..”

Okay, so now let’s put this into perspective. Eternity is forever. A very long time.

Do we want our friends and family to go to the wrong place?

Or even worse, what about when God tells you to go and talk to your enemy, as He did with Jonah? People that you would really rather forget about. People who have hurt you, not appreciated you–when all that is standing between them and hell–is you and your prayers? Ouch.


Just as the people criticized Moses, they will criticize us.

Sometimes, God opens the earth to swallow them up. But most times He doesn’t. We have to endure.

When I compare my tasks to what Jesus did for me at the cross, my problems seem very trivial. Jesus gave it all to pay for all so we don’t have to go to hell. How can we ever thank Him enough?

For the last week I’ve had strange sensations in my gut, not physical but emotional. I have not been numbing with food, as I have in the past, but I feel the Lord walking me through it: breathe in, breathe out, process it, you can do this.

Today I felt tinges of God’s love replacing the fear, loneliness, humiliation of feelings buried for many decades.

I believe this is what the plan is: As I process the emotions that have been stuck there, I breathe them out, and I will breathe in God’s Grace and Love and it will fill those places.


The clock is ticking ever faster. Time is running out.

Don’t fear your assignment.