As some of you know, Mr. Porter analyzes thoroughly before making decisions. This usually involves Excel spreadsheets, calculators, scrap paper, and lots of time. This is why I was so elated when he chose our exterminator so quickly.
As you can see from the picture, some carpenter ants have been munching on the front stoop of the house. They munched right through to the basement. They have not yet eaten into the structure, so we caught them in time.
As all good Homeowners do, we decided to get three estimates from bug killing companies to get rid of the ants.
1. Company One sent over a sales guy, with perfectly moussed hair and perfectly manicured fingernails. He gave us a breakdown of costs to spray ants, spray again in two weeks to kill the eggs, and oh, while we’re at it, we can take out the “pink” insulation and blow in this new, improved insulation that will add value to our home. Total cost: $4500. He told us Company Two, another well known bug killing company, would charge us more. I think this is the Shock and Awe Swindle: He gives us a price so high that we are afraid to call the competition.
2. Company Two came over, and instead of charging more, gave us a price to spray, come back and spray again to kill the eggs, meanwhile, removing and reusing the pink insulation. Total cost: $1000.
3. Company Three. Family owned business. The salesman brought over the guy who would actually do the work. This salesman was not ready for the cover of GQ, but was clean and respectable. We spoke to my husband on speakerphone. He explained that the carpenter ants have a primary colony, and that this was only a secondary colony, and therefore would not have eggs. They would remove the pink insulation, shake out the mice droppings, spray, and put the insulation back. They would then come back every other month for a year, and spray to keep the ants from coming back. Total cost: $1000.
Mr. Porter said to the salesman, “Sounds good.” Does that mean yes? I couldn’t be sure.
We hung up the phone and Mr. Porter texted me. “It sounds good. What do you think?”
“Yes, it’s fine,” I wrote back, not realizing that the decision had been made. I was still a little nervous, as the salesman said to his worker, “Call the office and see what the schedule is like.” Yikes, we don’t even know if we are going with these guys yet.
“They are putting us on the schedule,” I texted back, as a last warning that Mr. Porter needs to speak up and tell them he needs time to think about it.
“Good,” he texted back.
DING DING DING, WE HAVE A WINNER.
Whew. Call that a Memorial Day Miracle. I had braced myself for three weeks of spreadsheets and comparisons, conversations and quotes.
So we are on the schedule. A decision has been made.
Mr. Porter has said “YES” to the Exterminator.