
I’m sure you get that a lot. People have dreams of being famous, singing in front of millions.
There’s just one problem.
Carry a tune
with a bucket
I cannot.
Being on American Idol has never been a dream of mine during waking hours. I’m slightly logical enough to know I would totally wind up in the Bloopers Reel.
The weird thing about the dream — ok, another weird thing — was that part of the American Idol experience was that I had to style some fashions for the judges to vote on.
This is also bizarre because I spend most of my waking hours running from the Fashion Police.
I have a few examples of outfits I’ve been caught wearing in public. I would have a better chance of being on “What NOT to Wear.”

Ok, that hat was supposed to be funny, it was my birthday. But there really is no excuse for that shirt. Ugh. It looks like something Frank Costanza had donated, and Kramer picked up at the Thrift Store.
But there’s worse. How about this little number:
Seriously, the guy next to me has better fashion sense!
My mother has a picture from when I was 12, and went on my first trip to NYC. I was wearing a red and white checkered pantsuit. I will spare your eyes the pain of seeing that one!