Yesterday was a bad day. There were too many disappointments to number. When I woke up this morning, my head was still swirling. I felt like all the emotions that I was dealing with were too much to bring to God, too much to pray about, and why do I want to bother God with … More Constant Love?
The video of a woman walking down a city street, listening to men call out to her, has struck a nerve. The video was done to show what an average good-looking woman goes through every day in the city. She was not scantily dressed; just what an average woman would wear while on her way … More The video everyone is talking about…and my two cents
Where to start? I guess the middle is as good a place as any. So my fiancé (now Mr. Porter) and I had to attend the pre-cana classes and get our certificate before we got married. I should mention here that I was off my regular anti-depressant medication. I was not on any medication, as … More A Night at the Psych Ward
The above quotation was a response from a fellow blogger, Tony Roberts.I wish I could take credit for it…because it expresses the way I feel on just about every day of my life. Also known as IndyTony, he has been following the Lord’s leading to publish his memoirs while dealing with Bipolar. I myself, have … More “I cling to hope in Christ. At the same time, I find myself asking what God is trying to tell me.”
I just finished watching this great movie from 2001, “Anne Frank – The Whole Story,” Starring Ben Kingsley as Anne’s Father, Otto Frank. This movie tells what happened before and after the diary. Just about every human on the planet is familiar with “The Diary of a Young Girl,” as it has sold over 30 … More So what really happened to Anne Frank?
There is a deep dark place that exists in my mind, heart, and belly that only those who have been there can begin to understand. It’s lonely, terrifying, and sometimes feels that time has stopped. It’s hard to imagine going through to the other side, because I can’t believe there is another side. All remembrances … More At the bottom of the bi-polar cycle
Now you’re wondering where I’m going with this…Hang on. Just a few things I have noticed. 1. I saw a young girl, maybe fourth grade, standing in line in school. There was a boy next to her who was poking at her, and pulling her hair. She told him to stop. He didn’t. She told … More Why do we teach our girls to accept bullying?
Today I went through an experience of extreme fear overtaking me. Things from the past came flooding into my memory. It was very overwhelming and, to use an overused word: terrifying. Usually when I feel emotions this strongly, I find some food and stuff the feelings back down. The fear is too much; I feel … More Common
Well, once I again, I see the answer to prayer manifesting in my life…but I once again was not ready for what came with it. I had asked God to give my husband a better job, one that he liked better, so he could be happier. Within a week, his company announced that all the … More Getting what you pray for
I ate too much pumpkin pie last night. I woke up at 4 am with pain in my stomach. I did it again. I punished myself by overeating. Why am I craving pumpkin? Is there a nutrient in the pumpkin that I need? Or am I brainwashed by the pumpkin spice latte commercials? Is it … More Food is my frenemy
Coffin icon (Photo credit: Wikipedia) The thing that really sucks about losing a close friend, besides obviously their death – is that it brings up all those other memories of feelings of losing others, the unresolved pain of losing a beloved grandmother, or a very rough breakup, or the ending of a job that you … More More Random thoughts on Grief
If no one reads this, that’s ok. I am trying to make sense of it all. It might never make sense. My cousin died a month ago. I miss him very much. That’s to be expected. Googling around the internet, and going in the library, there are thousands of writings to “help” you through the grieving … More Random thoughts on Grief
Emotions that I hate but have not yet named Sometimes, something bad happens: A friend disappoints me. I’m too shy to speak up about something. I make a big mistake and feel dumb. I slip on the ice and fall in front of a bunch of other people. It produces a feeling in the pit of … More In the Pit of my stomach….
Living on Autopilot…This is the phase I go into when a loved one dies….. or the pain I felt after a breakup is too much to endure…or the abuse of childhood was too much. I have an Override switch that kicks me into autopilot. There is a feeling of incredible numbness in my mind and … More My Life as a Robot
Forget Gordon Ramsay. For me, one of the worst kitchen nightmares happened when I was about 12 years old. My brother Johnny was about 8. The family had gathered around the kitchen table at exactly 5 p.m., which is when my father came home from work. Dinner was ready for him the second he walked in … More A different kind of Kitchen Nightmare
We had just moved into our new house in August of 1964, and I was 4 years old. The electrical outlets did not have covers yet. I was alone in my room, and for some reason decided that it was a good idea to stick a fork into the outlet. The pain of the electrical … More My First Memory
Another day, another diet. I’ve lost probably hundreds of pounds in my life. And gained it all back. I know, Boo Hoo. I know I’m not the only one. My two biggest issues are 1) eating after supper ! That is not, not, not something I should do and 2) I get soooo depressed … More Yes, Weight Watchers, It’s Me Again
A New Friend We lived out in the “country” or the “sticks” as it’s sometimes called, during the 1970’s. There were only 2 boys in the neighborhood that my brother, sister, and I hung out with. While riding our bikes near a construction site up the hill, we watched as new houses were being built. … More Friends, and Jealousy
Long before Mickey Mouse existed, Walt Disney worked with his brother Roy on another character, Oswald the Lucky Rabbit. Long story short, Universal Studios, who was working with Walt and Roy, STOLE the Rabbit characters, along with most of Disney’s workers. Imagine how much that must have stung! Put yourself in “his shoes” for a … More Walt Disney and “The Mouse”
Until recently, I never had a problem with jealousy. Someone could get a new car, new job, lose weight, get married–I honestly was not jealous, I was happy for them. While re-watching for the 98th time, “Amadeus“, one of my favorite movies of all time, I thought about jealousy. In the movie, Saleri is portrayed … More Jealousy