SueAnn Porter

I believe that Truth is stranger than Fiction; movies based on true stories with a little tweaking or embellishment are my favorite kind. And so my life, with just a little embellishment, is the theme of this blog.

Let’s start out on a cheery note. A picture of my very spoiled dog, Bailey. (Note to self: I need to make a user icon for Bailey so he can post for himself.)

Once again he asks: Do I look comfy to you?

Here’s a pic that could be his avatar:

Bailey Nose or Bailey Knows.

In no particular order, here are the highs and lows of the past week or ten days:

1. My friend Suzanne* asked if her son Jeff* could stop over my house for a  free** vacuum cleaner and rug shampooer demonstration. He would vacuum and clean my rugs, for free. The reason is he is going to sell vacuum cleaners and needs to “practice.” Against the yellow lights blinking in front of my face, and the knife-like feeling in my stomach, I said yes.

A half hour before he is supposed to show up, his boss calls to tell me that he is coming with Jeff. What kind of vacuum do I currently have? If I fall in love with their vacuum, do I have the authority to make the financial decision alone that I can buy their vacuum. No. No, I don’t, because I have a new vacuum that works just fine, thanks. Also, I am not in the market for a vacuum, as I am not working and have no extra money. He says, no problem, we have easy payment plans for any budget. Absolutely anyone can afford their vacuum.

I hung up the phone. (Yes, my cell phone. A wimpy click. Remember the good old days when you could slam a phone down? I miss that.) From my toes, up through my body– with a quick stop in my stomach to pick up some extra juice–came anger. Furious anger. How dare he stick his nose into my personal finances? The anger went up through me all the way up to the ceiling. I was in a cloud of anger. (Yes, I know this is not a life and death situation, but I’ll get to that.)

Then I realized: this was the first time in a longgggg time that I did not stuff the anger back down. I did not deny myself of feeling the anger.  I did not lie to myself and say that I wasn’t angry.  I did not eat a box of cookies to stuff the anger back down. I was feeling an emotion, not quite as normally as other humans, but I was feeling it.

I called back, and got voice mail. Of course. I left a message cancelling the demo. I wrote a big note that I was not available and left it on the front door. Then I took my very spoiled dog for a longggg walk. As I was walking I was breathing and feeling all around inside the anger. It felt overwhelming, but I kept putting one foot in front of the other, and realized that it’s okay to be mad. I don’t have to worry about being punished, or being yelled at. I can just let it be. After 50-something years, I felt real anger more intensely than I can remember.

Back and forth text messages to my friend and her son. She told me please don’t worry about it, and don’t be upset. He has other people to do the demos for, and he wouldn’t want me to feel bad. I was so relieved.

I felt better after the walk.

I sat down and laughed when I realized that the last time I encountered a pushy salesman, I threw him out of my house. It was years ago, and the two guys were trying to sell us siding for the townhouse. But after an hour of talking, they could not give me an estimate of the price. I told them, “We’re done here!” and that was that.

2. I lost my hat. (Whiteface Mountain.)

Then I lost my other hat. (sorry no pic)

My ears are cold.

3. I was watching a show on tv, when someone rang the doorbell. I peeked out the window (thinking it might be my son) and there was a guy there looking up at the trees in front of my house, with his back toward me and shirt that said, “Tom’s Tree Trimming Service” (or something like that). Ugh. We spent almost $3,000 having trees taken down 3 years ago. That ship has sailed. Now, I suppose a normal person would open the door, listen to him, and say, “No thank you.” But who says I’m a normal person? I made sure the door was locked, and hid in the kitchen until he left. Bailey was barking the whole time, so I figured he wasn’t going to try to break in.

4. I cleaned out the kitchen closet, you know, the pantry, where all the food and spices are, and the kitchen garbage can. Over the past 6 months when I was recuperating from cancer surgery, nothing in my house got a deep, scrubbing cleaning. So you know how food misses the garbage can, and winds up all over the walls, floors, yuck. So I took everything out and cleaned everything.

When I was finished, I closed the pantry door and realized that no one in the universe is going to notice that my closet is now clean. Huh.

5. My son got a new job and was supposed to start on Sunday. Oh, it was a divine answer to prayer. He was working at Radio Shack, which is circling the toilet and has filed for bankruptcy. We were all so happy about this new job.

My son caught some kind of wicked cold and has been in bed all week. I took him to the doctor Monday, and he got some medicine and a note for his employer. I took the note to his work, and told them that he really really really wants this job but he is very very very sick. Which is all true. I hope he is better soon!

[Monday involved two different doctor visits, two trips to the pharmacy, etc., etc. Sometimes I wonder why I am tired.]

****

Well that’s just some of the excitement that is my life.

I need to go vacuum the floors now!

* I don’t use real names. But you already knew that. 🙂

** Nothings free. There is a price in blood, sweat or tears. But you already knew that too.