The Orphan Spirit part 3

My original post about the Orphan Spirit is popular. I didn’t write most of the information there; I included articles by other authors and included their names and websites.

I had two revelations this week that I will share. I find that other people go through similar trials.

The first is from the book Complex PTSD, by  Pete Walker.

I have recommended this book previously. It speaks of Emotional Flashbacks, not just for war veterans, but for anyone who has suffered a trauma. The Emotional Flashback includes the memory of the trauma, and brings with it the emotions that occurred at that time.  For instance, if you are a victim of a mugging, the fear that you experienced during that time can come back on you when you are in an entirely different circumstance, bringing with it the feeling that it’s happening again. This is illustrated in movies. For example, someone hears a car backfire and assumes it’s gunfire.

This book outlines steps to process the Emotional Flashback, so that over time, it will not be so terrifying. The first step of course is recognizing that you are having the Emotional Flashback.  It’s not a current state of danger, but something triggered it and you feel like you are in danger again.

There are two interesting pieces to this puzzle. One is that a person who is rejected continuously  (a parent, a school bully, a mean boss, etc.) comes to a place where he rejects himself— he abandons himself.  His inner critic continues the bombardment of angry self-talk started by the outside source. This brings on Depression and other issues.

The second part is that when he is so busy fighting himself internally and criticizing himself, he is unable to FIGHT ( externally ) for himself. He is unable to stand up for what is right, voice his own opinion, or even execute willpower over food, drink, etc.  The author’s solution is to learn to use the anger against the self-critic, and to change the inner self-talk. This does not happen overnight—— It helps to have things written down and in posted so that you can read positive words when the issues arise.


is a book I obtained for free from my church about a year ago. The title struck me as something I would like to learn more about. I finally looked at it yesterday. It talks about a kind of love that the Japanese call amareru, which is “to wish or to expect to be loved”. This is not speaking about narcissism, but a healthy expectation that starts in babyhood of expecting needs to be met, expecting to be cherished. It is a dependence on, a trust in,  type of love. Sounds like the love we are supposed to have for Jesus? A dependence, a trust that He has our best interests in mind.

This is the key as to why it is so hard for many folks. If this love is not experienced in childhood, a person doesn’t feel loved and wanted, he feels like an outsider, an orphan, it’s extremely difficult to suddenly believe in and trust God. There is no preparation, no blueprint, no idea how to do this.

The lack of connection with a healthy human turns many to drugs, alcohol, food, workaholism, excess shopping, etc. to fill the void. Even those who know the Lord struggle with trusting Him on a deeper level.

We are taught to be independent, to not be needy. This kind of dependence is looked down on in American culture.

The Orphan Spirit entered into mankind through the fall of Adam and Eve. They were separated from the Glory of God because of their sin. Jesus paid the price to make the way for us to return to the Father. Believing it is the first step; it must then be “walked out” in daily life. Relying on, trusting God, being dependent on Him, and following His ways.

We are called to be One Body and to be members one of another in a spiritual sense. Like someone trying to climb a ladder when their are rungs missing, people struggle with these issues. Believing God wants the best for us and waiting on His timing is a huge leap that some are unable to perform. The Orphan Spirit blocks the way.


John 14:17-18 New King James Version (NKJV)

Jesus said:

17 the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you. 18 I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.

We are no longer spiritual orphans. 





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