SueAnn Porter

Opposites Attract…Because God has a sense of humor, too

My husband is a day person. He leaps out of bed between the hours of 5 am and 6 am. He immediately makes the bed, with me still in it. He pulls up the comforter, leaving his side neat and tailored, and thankfully, my side with my head still exposed for the sake of oxygen intake.

He informs me when it has reached 6:04 am, our agreed-upon time to wake up and drink large amounts of coffee. He prepares the coffee pot the night before, so when we enter the kitchen, he turns the button to the “on” position. I drool, waiting for the output of hot java.

Then comes the conversation. Well that’s the wrong word. A conversation would mean there are two people involved. My brain is not yet engaged at this hour, so it sounds much like Charlie Brown‘s schoolteacher, “whaaaa whaa wha  wha whaaa.” I try hard to focus, focus, focus, but I fail. Everyday I fail.

We get into the car to go to the gym. Yes, he drives. I don’t want to be arrested for Driving Under the Influence of Fog-headedness Due to Being a Night Person..

While still in a fog, I manage to walk to the Cardio Room and secure a recumbent bike. I pedal for 30 minutes. I then stumble to a treadmill, hold on to the sides for dear life, and walk for 30 minutes.

The day goes on. I wake up about noontime.

After supper, you can see that we have indeed traded places. I now rattle off facts and figures of what I have endured during the day. He looks at me. What? Now *I* sound like Charlie Brown’s schoolteacher…whaa..whaa..whaa.

We watch TV, and sometimes I look over to see him sleeping. I will start talking, and he will sit up at attention, like. “Who me? no, I didn’t fall asleep.”

[He once fell asleep in the movie theatre while watching “The Bourne Identity.” True story. He snored, woke himself up, and most of the theatre turned around and looked at us.]

About 9 pm, he will announce that he’s going to bed. Oh, I should go too; but I just got my second wind…and there might be a good movie on..and let me just finish this show I’m watching…..oh and I can call my cousin who lives on the West Coast, and answer a few emails…and oh, I’ll be up in a minute….”just a sec”……