The 10 steps I followed in my crisis, for better or worse

Although when I was in the midst of vomiting, I did say “Jesus please help me”, once I was stabilized and realized I was in for a journey, I fell back into my old routine, mistakes and all.  

This is how I did it. 

  1. Fear. I let fear get ahold of me. What if I never get healed? What if this is forever?
  2. I thought God must be mad at me. (Yes, I even fell for this one.) I must have done something wrong, I’m not good enough, etc. 
  3. I got mad at God.   I’ve told many friends over the years, “It’s ok to be mad at God, He can handle it.” And indeed He can.  But I need to remember Joseph’s words: God meant it for good. 
  4. I tried to distract myself from the problem. Instead of pushing into praying and bible reading, I went to food, watching tv, sleeping, whatever.  If I ignore the problem, it will go away, right?!
  5. I started getting depressed. Shocking, right?! Looking at my problem instead if my solution.  
  6. I asked people to pray for me.  This should probably be sooner on the list…
  7. I started to see things getting better. Friends volunteered to drive me places.  I was able to take a short walk. 
  8. I thanked God for helping in the midst of this mess.  
  9. I started praying more directly and asking God for help. 
  10. I finally spent quality time in the bible.  

Yesterday, the above scripture was sent to me via Verse of the Day.  Like a tap on the shoulder, I saw it in a new way.  “For whoever would draw near to God”– well I wasn’t doing that. I was keeping God at a distance.  “Must believe that He exists” — do I or do I not believe?!  “He rewards those who seek Him.”  — I was lukewarm-ly seeking.  So why should I expect a reward?!

So I will file this away, and when the next storm comes, hopefully I will handle it better.

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