My top ten worst dates, starting with #1

IMG_2281“A Quick Cup of Coffee

It was during the Great Dating Dry Spell of 1998. I had lost some weight, and other than the trainer at the gym who was twice my age and half my height, I was unable to meet anyone who wasn’t already married.

I decided to try the Phone Dating Line. No, it was not an 800 number; it was for so-called professional career folk like me, looking to meet someone nice.

After leaving a description of myself and what I was looking for in a date, I received a few messages. I stumbled upon one that sounded interesting. I called his number and we chatted a few times on the phone. We seemed to have a few things in common, we were both computer programmers, liked coffee, and (supposedly) had trouble meeting someone date-worthy.

We decided to meet at a Coffee Shop for a quick hello and a cup of java. He told me he was 6’ 1”, had brown hair and a leather jacket.  Sounds like a plan. (Now keep in mind, I am really not that shallow, but I wanted to be able to recognize the guy in a crowd.)

We met at the arranged time and place. I looked around to find someone matching his description. What I found was a balding man, with the proverbial bad comb-over. He was about 5’ 9” on tippy toes. His brown jacket was of questionable material. (pleather?) I asked if he was “Ed” and he said yes, and as he did I discovered a huge hickey on his neck. I looked down and saw the corresponding bar stamp on his hand. I inhaled quickly, and exhaled with force.

“Well, shall we have some coffee?” he asked.

I nodded my head, unable to form any words. I followed him inside.

“I’ll just have a medium coffee, cream, no sugar,” I heard myself say.

I honestly don’t remember what he ordered.

We found a table and he took off his pleather jacket and put it around the back of his chair. I tossed my purse on the chair next to me. This was going to be a quick cup of coffee.

We both tried to be polite and adult but it was obvious this was not a love connection. Finally he said, “I have to leave.”

I said, “Yes, I do too.”

“No, I really have to go.”

“Well, so do I,” I countered.

We headed out the door and each toward our own cars. There was no “I’ll call you,” just a painless, “goodbye.”

I jumped in my car, free at last.

I headed towards home, but I suddenly realized I had forgotten my pocketbook. Oh no, I left it back at the Coffee Shop. I turned the car around and headed back.

I walked into the Coffee Shop and was relieved so see my pocketbook sitting on the chair were I had left it. I grabbed it and headed towards the door. The people at the next table yelled, “Hey, wait a minute, your friend left his jacket.”

I thought about that for a second. If I took his jacket, and had to call him to tell him I had it, and then he would think it was an excuse to see him again. No, that’s not going to happen.

“I’m never going to see him again,” I blurted out.

Their eyes bulged out of their heads. “What?”

“I’m never going to see him again. I’m not taking the jacket.”

I made a mad dash for the door. I wanted to be long gone before he realized he had left his jacket and would have to return for it.

I got in my car and headed back home.

And I didn’t look back.

I don’t know if he ever met a corresponding hickey-covered gal with a bar stamp, but I never spent another dime on the Phone Dating Line.

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30 thoughts on “My top ten worst dates, starting with #1

    1. Haha in the early 70’s I had a blind date… it was a double date with a friend from work, but our first stop was at a drug store so he could buy cough syrup. Not because he had a cough, but because he drank it to get off. Not ever again!

  1. I am sorry you went through that. Dating is torture! I was very fortunate and look forward to our 47th wedding anniversary early next year. I pray you will be comforted by the fact that God had his hand on you, even in that precarious moment!

    1. Thank you Daryl. It was rough out there, but it does give me a lot of stories to write about! And it makes me appreciate my husband! Thankfully, yes, God had his hand on me all through those years.

    2. Congratulations. Marriage is not easy, its a difficult receipe. This genuinely fills me with happiness you share this amazing 47 year lifetime relationship, I am fascinated with it. It’s so rare, maybe that’s why? But, I am happy for you!

  2. Okay, I have one, I was in my early 20’s so late 90’s. What I thought was seemingly a nice man we were going on our first date. Dressed nice had a job which made a lot of $, nice car, not bad looking. Took me to fine dining restaurant. We had nice conversation, I enjoyed his company. Not overly romantic, but attentive, The BILL came, THIS FOOL SAYS, he forgot his WALLET. I WAS IRRATE. I was working 2 jobs at the time. Restaurant was way out of my price range, and he drank A LOT. So I excused my self to the restroom, spoke to the maitre d, paid my portion of the bill including tip and ordered a cab, to take me to my car. Hmmp! Never saw him again, or called. Who falls for that, on the first date? Rule #1 alway have enough $ for yourself! People are mean! For all I know he could still be sitting there! Creep! Worst date ever, I was saving the outfit for something nice, not blowing it on a loser boy! Blah! Eh. The whole decade was bad, dress was going to waste anyway! Lol. Oh well! Less learn.

    1. Oh, I am so sorry you had to go through that, but you were smart enough to have a plan B! “He could still be sitting there” – really cracked me up. Those “forgot my wallet” types should have mandatory “L” on their forehead! My poor aunt MARRIED one of those. (She did eventually get an annulment.) He would say “You pay for the ice cream cones, since it was your idea.” Seriously?!! I wonder if these losers think they are taking their money with them when they die?
      Thanks for your comment, and thanks for visiting!
      Sue

      1. Well, I married one of THOSE too. It happens. Prayer keeps me from being angry and allows me to forgive him. But he is cruel to my children, only way to hurt me. Whole other story. Lol. By the way, in one of your previous posts you wrote about your jeans and how you wish you keep them. I wrote, I had all my clothes in various sizes. You told me to dump what didn’t fit. Lol. I took the plunge, my closet is bare. Only what fits is in there. My boyfriend says, can you do the shoes please?

        1. LOL I don’t remember telling you that advice, but hopefully it was ok?! Getting Freshly Pressed is like something I never thought would happen to ME, and I was quite giddy.
          Nothing is worse than hurting children, imho. Prayer does keep us out of all kinds of trouble, doesn’t it?

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