I bought a $7 pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring. –Mitch Hedberg

Yesterday I posted quotes about candles, letting your light shine. One quote was from Mitch Hedberg: I wanted to buy a candle holder but the store didn’t have one, so I bought a cake. –Mitch Hedberg   I had never heard of him before, and then coincidentally* I saw another quote from him today on … More I bought a $7 pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring. –Mitch Hedberg

Am I having a mastectomy or buying a used car?

Any car salesman knows that once the customer has walked off the lot, he’s lost the sale. A savvy car buyer knows: always be ready to walk away. I did not realize that my best negotiating skills were necessary to maneuver through the process of mastectomy and breast reconstruction surgery. I was diagnosed with breast … More Am I having a mastectomy or buying a used car?

We have a pet toilet.

Yes, that’s what I said. The toilet in the main bathroom upstairs sometimes requires attention. For no reason at all, it runs a little bit of water, just to remind us it’s still there, and then shuts itself off. We can be downstairs watching TV, and hear it summon us from upstairs, “Don’t you forget … More We have a pet toilet.

YAWN — or Sorry, HGTV, but we are keeping the wallpaper!

What bores me? Neutral colors. Beige, beige, and beige. If you watch HGTV, you know that they always advise folks that are selling their homes to make all the colors “neutral.” “People want to see themselves living here. De-personalize.” While I understand taking down the wedding and baby pictures, wouldn’t someone rather see a home … More YAWN — or Sorry, HGTV, but we are keeping the wallpaper!

I sold my Fat Jeans on eBay and now I want them back

**** REBLOGGED from 2013 **** I’m one of those folks who has been on/off a diet her whole life. Yes, I’ve done them all. Last year, my husband and I did have good success with Weight Watchers. We attended the weekly meetings (aka “Date Night“). We worked out at the gym Monday through Friday. We … More I sold my Fat Jeans on eBay and now I want them back

My brother is stinky

“Rrring!” There goes that stupid doorbell again. I wipe the tears from my eyes and sniffle.  I open the front door to find my friend, Beth, standing there with yet another bowl of potato salad. This one is covered in paprika. I can’t stand the stuff. Her husband Mike is standing beside her, uneasy in … More My brother is stinky