I bought a $7 pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring. –Mitch Hedberg

Yesterday I posted quotes about candles, letting your light shine. One quote was from Mitch Hedberg: I wanted to buy a candle holder but the store didn’t have one, so I bought a cake. –Mitch Hedberg   I had never heard of him before, and then coincidentally* I saw another quote from him today on … More I bought a $7 pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring. –Mitch Hedberg

Monet, I hate you.

That woman there, in the hat—is she waving at you? At me? Adjusting her hat? Giving you the finger? Giving ME the finger? I wish you would be more clear about what she means, unless of course, you don’t know yourself. … More Monet, I hate you.

Am I having a mastectomy or buying a used car?

Any car salesman knows that once the customer has walked off the lot, he’s lost the sale. A savvy car buyer knows: always be ready to walk away. I did not realize that my best negotiating skills were necessary to maneuver through the process of mastectomy and breast reconstruction surgery. I was diagnosed with breast … More Am I having a mastectomy or buying a used car?