We self-righteously claim that those are “worse” problems because “well, we all have to eat.”
But we don’t have to eat junk food.
We don’t have to use food as entertainment.
We don’t have to use food for companionship.
We don’t have to use food for comfort.
But we do.
We tell ourselves that other addictions are easier to overcome just because that is not our personal demon.
Newsflash: The other addictions are not easier to overcome.
My Weight Watchers Leader has a saying, “If hunger isn’t the problem, then food isn’t the solution.”
I am working on sitting and actually feeling the emotions as they pass by me. For some of you, this is a joke. But for those of us who were never allowed to have our own feelings, or express our feelings, the whole emotional realm is a frightening place. It doesn’t get any easier with age because these skills should have been learned while we were still children and were not. Consequently, I don’t possess these skills. A “good” feeling is just as frightening as a “bad” feeling, and both are quieted and stifled by large indulgences of food, as I would imagine alcohol does for an alcoholic and heroin does for a heroin addict. I don’t look down on them; I consider them rowing in the same boat beside me.
So this is the year, 2014, that my personal food demon comes down off the altar. I am not entirely sure how I will accomplish this. But I’m going to give it my best effort.