I just came from my yearly mammogram appointment. There was something strange on the film, so they decided to do a biopsy immediately. Today.
Of course I asked, “It might be just fluid, right?”
“No, it’s not fluid,” the Tech responded.
I had breast cancer back in 2008. I still remember the phone call from the doctor, “Can you come in to the office today?”
Well I knew she wasn’t inviting me in for Tea and Crumpets. I had breast cancer.
It’s no secret that having cancer is no fun. Surgery, radiation, and chemo take a toll on a person–spirit, soul, and body.
But what “kicked mine up a notch” was that I was also fighting for custody of my son at the same time. In a strange way, the custody battle was a distraction, because if I couldn’t have my son….oh, I didn’t even want to think about it.
My son is now “over 18” so I don’t have to worry about that.
For now, I am looking into the summer schedule. If I do have cancer, will my poor husband have a vacation this year? Or will his vacation days be filled with driving me back and forth to doctors and hospitals, surgeries and radiation?
As always, Mr. Porter looked ahead and said, “Well, if we have to go to the city, I’ll go see a Mets game. And I can have dinner with my nephew in Manhattan.” The proverbial lemonade.
Mr. Porter has also really been great about letting me slack on the housework. I would never win any awards from Good Housekeeping anyway, but he never nags. And Friday he brought home Chinese food so I wouldn’t have to cook.
I’m trying to have a “normal” day. But my brain is spinning. It might turn out to be nothing, just a shadow on the film. And if it is something, we’ll get through that too.
Sometimes not knowing is worse than knowing.
Like the old song, “The waiting is the hardest part.”
#cancersucks #ChineseFood #Mets #summer