Do I have Cancer again?

We are Here!

I just came from my yearly mammogram appointment. There was something strange on the film, so they decided to do a biopsy immediately. Today.

Of course I asked, “It might be just fluid, right?”

“No, it’s not fluid,” the Tech responded.

I had breast cancer back in 2008. I still remember the phone call from the doctor, “Can you come in to the office today?”

Well I knew she wasn’t inviting me in for Tea and Crumpets. I had breast cancer.

It’s no secret that having cancer is no fun. Surgery, radiation, and chemo take a toll on a person–spirit, soul, and body.

But what “kicked mine up a notch” was that I was also fighting for custody of my son at the same time. In a strange way, the custody battle was a distraction, because if I couldn’t have my son….oh, I didn’t even want to think about it.

My son is now “over 18” so I don’t have to worry about that.

For now, I am looking into the summer schedule. If I do have cancer, will my poor husband have a vacation this year? Or will his vacation days be filled with driving me back and forth to doctors and hospitals, surgeries and radiation?

As always, Mr. Porter looked ahead and said, “Well, if we have to go to the city, I’ll go see a Mets game. And I can have dinner with my nephew in Manhattan.” The proverbial lemonade.

Mr. Porter has also really been great about letting me slack on the housework. I would never win any awards from Good Housekeeping anyway, but he never nags. And Friday he brought home Chinese food so I wouldn’t have to cook.

I’m trying to have a “normal” day. But my brain is spinning. It might turn out to be nothing, just a shadow on the film. And if it is something, we’ll get through that too.

Sometimes not knowing is worse than knowing.

Like the old song, “The waiting is the hardest part.”

 

 

#cancersucks #ChineseFood #Mets #summer

 

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17 thoughts on “Do I have Cancer again?

  1. I’ve liked this for your guts. I’m praying for a benign outcome with this note. Godspeed to good resolution and soon.

  2. Crossing my fingers and gathering all my best wishes and thoughts that this isn’t anything to be concerned about. I hope you don’t have to wait too long to find out.

  3. I am not going to hit the “Like” button……I am going to keep you in my prayers. I have more than one person near me going through cancer and a friend from high school who is almost a year out from her diagnosis of breast cancer. She is doing very well now, but she still has reconstructive surgery etc ahead of her. I’m sorry you are going through this SueAnn. I pray it is nothing serious 🙂

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