SueAnn Porter

When I saw “Anonymous” in the caller id screen, I assumed it was a telemarketer. Normally, I let these calls go to the black hole that is my voicemail. But I was feeling fiesty, and I decided to pick up the phone.

“Speak,” I mocked.

“Hello, this is Dr. S. I am calling for SueAnn.”

Whoops.  Dr. S is an Oncologist who I just met yesterday. I was referred to her because there were two cancerous tumors found in my lymph nodes after my mastectomy.

“Oh, yes, this is SueAnn.”

“I went back over your Pathology report last night. Because one of the tumors is large, we want to start chemotherapy immediately, instead of waiting three weeks for the results from the lab.”

“Oh.Really?”

“Yes, we feel that we should not wait–this is your life we’re talking about,” Dr. S said. “I will have my office call you soon to schedule you for chemo class.”

“Okay, thank you.” I was still stunned and trying to digest this news.

“Did you say “speak” when you answered the phone?”

Yikes. What a pinhead I am. 

[Now might also be a good time to tell you about yesterday at the doctor’s office. I got there early for the appointment; I had to fill out paperwork. I waited a total of two hours before I saw the doctor. When I finally did get in to see her, I asked as nicely as I could muster, “Will I always have this long of a wait before I get in to see you?”  To which she replied, “Well, I skipped my lunch hour today so I could squeeze you in.”  Duh. Big Duh.]

“Uh, yes, um, I saw “Anonymous” on the caller id, so I thought it was a telemarketer. You must think I am such an awful person.”

“No, no, we don’t think that about anyone.” She laughed. I was slightly relieved.

I guess when doctors deal with cancer patients, they encounter all kinds of personalities. Even mine.

So I’m waiting by the phone for the chemo class schedule.

Anonymous. Yes that is what I wish I was after saying STUPID things to the doctor. Just Anonymous.