The video everyone is talking about…and my two cents

The video of a woman walking down a city street, listening to men call out to her, has struck a nerve.

The video was done to show what an average good-looking woman goes through every day in the city.

She was not scantily dressed; just what an average woman would wear while on her way from point A to point B.

She was wearing microphones, and was working with a man who walked in front of her with a camera in his backpack. No one would know they were being taped when they spoke to her.

As a formerly good-looking woman, I can relate to the fear that this woman would experience. Every single cat-call or “greeting” requires a split second decision: “Am I in danger?” When this goes on for hours, it can really drain your adrenal glands. She is not free to walk down the street, contemplating what will happen at work that day, or meeting friends for lunch. She has to think continually, “Is there a threat against me?”

Many commenters on websites have said that people were merely saying hello and that it’s no big deal. It is a big deal. A woman is sexually assaulted every 15 seconds in the country. I’ve read comments where they called her “rude” or said she was dressed too sexy. What?!

Many of the men in the video were obviously interested in more than “hello.” They saw her as a sex object, and felt perfectly fine saying so. “You’re beautiful, you’re beautiful.” “Why don’t you say thank you that he thinks you’re beautiful?!” Because she is NOT here for your pleasure. She is here for herself. Why should she be expected to answer every comment? She would never get where she is going if she had to stop and chat with everyone who approached her.

I remember watching a third-grade class line up to change classrooms. A boy pulled a girl’s hair and hurt her. She immediately told the teacher who replied, “Just ignore him.” The boy smiled. He could do whatever he wanted to the little girl, and the one who was supposed to protect her did not. This reinforces that 1) she has no right to her body and 2) the boy can do whatever he wants to her. Incidents like these happen all the time. What are we teaching our children?

I’m glad this woman took the time to make the video. I admired her bravery to do it, and then to post in for the world to see, knowing that many people would criticize her.

I consider what was done to her bullying. There is such a big movement to stop bullying in schools; why not stop it in the culture as a whole?







19 thoughts on “The video everyone is talking about…and my two cents

  1. I saw this video too. I can’t believe how the world feels it can treat women as less than second class citizens. We have gone back to the old days of “it’s the good old boys club” and anything goes. Whenever a woman does well in the business world or politics or other areas, they are always labeled as a bitch or that they slept their way to the top. Why? Good for you for publishing this blog.


    1. Thank you Terri! I too am sick of men doing whatever they want, and women are “always” wrong it seems. Even in the middle east, where the women are forced to wear burkas(!) the men beat them if their ankle shows while they are walking. And they are certainly not dressed sexy! I was very upset at all the comments I read that said she was “rude.” Isn’t the first thing we teach our kids “Don’t talk to strangers!”


  2. WOW! That’s incredible! I don’t have that problem…but I don’t live in NYC either. Even if I did, I don’t think I would have those issues but that is something! She did NOTHING to attract the attention. I just don’t understand why men (and I’m sure some women) think it is ok to act that way.. 😦


    1. Yes, this video is causing a lot of discussion–on both sides of the fence. I find it interesting that some people can relate to her, and others think she is blowing it out of proportion.


  3. Ugh – I hadn’t seen this. Thanks for sharing and suddenly very happy to not live in NYC. It happens sometimes where I am, but not with anywhere near that frequency.


        1. Yes!! I know if the camera wasn’t there and she was alone, I am sure she would have adjusted her speed to get rid of him. You don’t know when he might grab her and push her. You just don’t know what he would do.


  4. When my oldest daughter was about age 16 and up everywhere we went men would do this to her. Some never even said anything but would just stare at her very boldly. One time a man of about 50 actually turned around and followed us for a while. I used to get so angry that they would do that to her. She would do just like this girl did and walk straight forward never saying a thing because she was totally embarrassed but then some would accuse her of being rude and of course her momma wanted to smack them upside the head. She was and still is beautiful girl she is 30 now and men still do this. Not all men are that way but I have seen it and it used to worry me that if they did this when her mom was with her what would they do if I were not there?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I can’t believe some men find nothing wrong with this. I would like to see her re-make the video, with a picture of a grandma in her place (there must be some app to do that) and then see if they think it’s wrong. I got in a big argument on facebook with men who think there is nothing wrong with this. It makes me very angry!

      I believe the best thing to do is keep walking, too.

      I don’t blame you for wanting to hit them. We have instincts to protect our children!


  5. If women were to act like that we would be called terrible names. It is not right for anyone to act that way. sorry you got into an argument on fb but glad you stood up for what is right.


    1. Thanks T. For the most part, men don’t understand, they don’t get it. For those of us who were verbally abused–words usually come first, then physical attack, so when you hear words like that, you immediately go into self-defense mode. But a lot of men don’t understand that I guess.


  6. I’m sorry but I’m on the side that other then the two men following her this is a bad representation of harassment. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, because I endure it when I’m out as well. However a simple observation such as you’re beautiful or a hello isn’t the worst thing in the world. What happened to being friendly? Why couldn’t she have simply nodded at those who weren’t disrespectful. You don’t have to have a full conversation, but not responding makes her seem like she thinks she’s better then everybody. A simple thank you or hello or head nod wouldn’t have hurt her.


    1. Hi Single Momma,
      You’re certainly entitled to your opinion, and others have said the same thing: “what happened to being friendly”?

      I’m curious, what part of the country are you in?


        1. Hi. I haven’t seen it yet. I just asked because NYC is a different animal, and people generally avoid eye contact. It’s interesting to see different opinions. I will have to find the video. Thanks!


          1. I live in what has been said to be one of the top 10 worst cities in the US, NYC maybe a different animal but parts of my city are avoided for the same reasons… Even in NYC people can be friendly…


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