There is a feature in a magazine called “Reject A Hit”. It is a parody of what an editor might have written when rejecting a book that turned out to be a huge success. While the magazine seems to like printing submissions that reject classics, such as anything written by Charles Dickens, the dictionary (several times), anything by Ernest Hemingway, (you get the idea) I submitted a phony rejection of Hunger Games.
Since the editors did not see fit to publish my submission, my writer friend Anna @AnnaCBowling suggested that I share it with you, my dear readers.
So here it is:
January 2, 2003
Dear Ms. Collins:
Amid much confusion, I must reject your manuscript The Hunger Games. When I first received your submission, I was expecting to find a story of young children playfully enjoying board games as they munched their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. But that is not what I found.
I dare say that you yourself must have been quite hungry while writing this work. This becomes obvious as you introduce a character whose family owns a bakery. You even name him Pita, and although you misspelled it “Peeta”, you surely had food on your mind. He purposely burns a loaf of bread and throws it to your protagonist. Can’t you just smell the bread baking?
I then noticed that you brought in another character, an Effie Trinket, who is a celebrity merely because she is a celebrity. Just imagine if television programs were based on such people. What if magazines decided to print stories about such people?
Children are then “reaped” (more thoughts of food?) for war games to entertain the privileged elite, while the elite live in luxury. What kind of world would it be if this were so?
I have heard rumors that there will be two more books in this series. My advice is to have a sandwich before writing them.