My brother died two weeks ago
If you read books about grief and processing grief, it’s broken down into five stages: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
There is nothing methodical about grief.
Yes, there is a numbness in the first days right after you hear the news of a loved one’s death. But it is interjected with anger and pain. The smallest perceived offense is magnified, and you may find yourself in a fury over a trivial matter.
They don’t tell you about Brain Lock. For example, someone hands you a ten dollar bill for a seven dollar item, and your brain cannot figure out the change due.
They don’t tell you about the pain in the pit of the stomach that greets you when you wake up every morning.
They don’t tell you about the flashbacks of traumatic events you spent with your loved one and how it causes physical pain in your arms.
They don’t tell you that remembering good times will cause shooting pain inside your brain.
They don’t tell you that you shouldn’t drive because you might be tempted to drive into a tree.
You may not want to eat for several days. Or you may not be able to stop eating.
Acceptance? Meh. Bad choice of word. It’s another scar you carry for the rest of your life.
If unicorns were real, and we could slide down rainbows, I suppose in that universe there would be five clean stages of grief.
But here on planet earth, grief is a new agony for each person that you lose.