Well now all the hoopla is over. I made it through the surgery, the breast reconstruction. The wounds have healed, the pain is gone. But the bombardment of letters, cards, gifts, and homemade meals are gone too. I do miss that; it must be what it’s like to be a beloved celebrity. All that attention. Sadly, I was doped up on painkillers through most of my recuperation, so I didn’t absorb the feelings as much as I wish I had.
Miraculously (I mean that literally!) I did not need chemo or radiation, and for that I am truly grateful.
Life mostly “goes back to normal.” I drag my butt out of bed, bow to the coffee machine, eat a bowl of oatmeal, kiss hubby good-bye on his way to work and remind him “no speeding.”
My very spoiled dog Bailey tries to plan my day according to what he would like to do: go for a walk, eat cheese, play outside, have a treat, lie on my good blanket and take a nap.
I pretend I’m doing housework (okay, I do some, but I’m not a Suzy Homemaker type.) I am still waiting for a self-cleaning house. I’m not yet back to work, so I can’t pay someone to clean my house like the ‘good ole days’. Coming home to a clean house is a luxury.
I do have one lingering problem. I am on these blasted estrogen-blocking pills. They make me TIRED and I know I never had TONS of energy, but now I have even less. Today I got enough energy to call the doctor’s office to make an appointment. My doctor is a sweetie, and she really believes in these medicines, because as she says, “it’s your life.” But if you’ve ever dragged yourself day after day due to no energy, it’s not much of a life. That’s where I’m living now.
Today I’m thankful for the anger that rose up in me. The anger that is tired of being tired–it fueled me to make some phone calls to various doctors for other issues.
I need to get my eyes checked and get new glasses. I need to call NutriBullet and tell them their stupid thing that we paid $100 doesn’t work anymore, so I can’t juice and feel fabulous. Ugh.
So, being as anger is the only thing that I feel at the moment, I am going to use it for good and not for evil.
Update: I’m on hold with NutriBullet people……